1. Remember you know each other. A lawyer’s job is to zealously protect their client so the result is they assume your spouse is your enemy and tell you to not trust them or talk to them. The other spouse now goes to an attorney and is afraid because they are behind and is told the same by their attorney. Thus, the cycle of fear begins. This is wrong for the majority of people getting divorced. Remember your attorney has never met your spouse and at one time you were both friends and partners. You really do know each other better and talking about dividing assets and debt and child related issues is so important. You want your divorce to reflect your own unique needs, not your attorney’s.
2. Even litigated divorces are mandated by the court to go through mediation if decisions cannot be made. So you will end up paying two attorneys’ hourly fees, the mediator’s fee and potentially still not get a chance to talk to one another. The cost for that kind of mediation is outrageous. Litigated divorces on average can cost $50,000 to $85,000 per person and take a year. Mediation, at least for my practice, takes an average of three sessions and along with independent lawyers filing it for you, an average of $5,000 or less. All that money you were fighting for is going to the attorneys. So unless there is hidden money, severe interference with parenting due to a disability (that you both disagree on), or repeated violence, you do not need to litigate your divorce. Mediate instead.
3. It is very easy to make emotional decisions during the divorce process. Some people just want it over, some hope to get back together later, some are emotionally exhausted and want it done. Those decisions are often regretted after the divorce is final and can cause stress and anger for years. Rather than make emotional decisions, a neutral Mediator will help you assess if your decisions are practical and doable given your real circumstances. The Mediator will also help you look at where you will be after the divorce to make sure the financial decisions will actually be fair to both of you and allow you to plan for the immediate future.
4. Go ahead and look at your actual finances, all assets and debts. Gather fair market values of cars and the marital home or other real estate or businesses. Make sure you both start working on credit if that is an issue for either or both of you. Also know, every penny made or spent from the day you married until the judge signs the divorce decree is considered marital. Yes, even if it is in your name, account, or 401(k). You can either work with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst to determine what is premarital or you can do it less accurately and find financial statements from the month before you married and agree on the amount which is premarital. It is totally OK to figure out a starting point by adding all of your assets and subtracting all of your debt to see what profit exists to divide. That would be a 50/50 approach but that does not mean that you have to divide it that way. Georgia is an equitable division state, which means the division should be fair to both of you — not necessarily 50/50.
Litigated divorces average $50,000 to $85,000 per person and often take a year. Mediation with Atlanta Divorce Mediation Services averages three sessions and $5,000 or less, including independent attorneys filing for you.
Most couples complete mediation in an average of three sessions, compared to a year or more for a litigated divorce.
Mediation replaces the adversarial process, not the legal filing. Independent attorneys file the paperwork once you have reached an agreement, at a fraction of the cost of two litigating attorneys.
Litigation makes sense only in limited situations: hidden money, severe interference with parenting that you both disagree on, or repeated violence. Otherwise, courts will send you to mediation anyway, so starting there saves both attorneys’ fees.
Gather fair market values for your home, cars, businesses, and all assets and debts. Everything earned or spent from your wedding day until the decree is signed is considered marital property, even accounts in one name.
No. Georgia is an equitable division state, meaning the split must be fair to both of you, which is not necessarily 50/50.
